Drought's Perfect Metaphor

Droughts are like economic recessions. Right? They are both difficult to know when they both start and end. However, I think the economic metrics for defining a recession are more universally accepted than those used for drought. So, maybe this is not the perfect metaphor.

I called our last major drought in the southeast a dreadnought, but a comparison to a dreadnought is so early 20th-century. I am pretty sure those battleships have become obsolete with anti-ship missiles skimming across the sea.

So what is a better metaphor? Alex Prud'Homme, author of “The Ripple Effect: The Fate of Fresh Water in the 21st Century”, exclaimed in a recent New York Times opinion that "the python of drought is already wrapped tightly around us, and in weeks — and years — to come it will squeeze us dangerously dry". This is not a bad metaphor. Yes, a python is a big scary snake. Yes, it does squeeze its victims to death. But unlike a drought, a python can be easily defined even as it is squeezing you. Droughts are ill defined.

Lets see, so what are the characteristics of droughts?

• Unlike a tornado, the onset of droughts can be slow.
• Impacts are difficult to measure in many sectors of the economy. In fact, a drought can be felt outside region, even globally.
• No universally accepted definition.
• A drought has a unique DNA. No two droughts are the same. No watershed responds exactly to the same drought. 
• Exposes vulnerability in a watershed at that moment in time
• Fundamentally a recurring phenomena.

So what is a better metaphor? Here is my list.

A drought is like a stress test on a bank.
A drought is when your tread on your tire gets thin.
A drought is being asked to dance when you can't dance.
A drought is when a gambler's lost turns to an addiction.
A drought is like being too hot while your spouse is too cold.
A drought is when you dance with the devil and lose.
A drought is keeping your blog in an indefinite pause.

OK, I give up. Help?